Please enjoy this REALTOR poem series in holiday spirit “Twas the Day Before Listing” and the original, “Twas the Night before Closing” … Thanks to author extraordinaire Lynn Arseneau of Signature Associates for capturing the days in the life of a Berkshire REALTOR
‘Twas the Day before Listing
‘Twas the day before meeting,
I’m listing their dwelling.
They’ve lived there for decades
And now they are selling.
The sellers are ready to sign
And the price has been set
We decided 150 was as much as they’d get.
I’m at the house, promptly at four
My paperwork’s ready, I knock on the door
The dog, barking and slobbery, jumps on my new coat
As I watch his teeth aim for my throat.
Then, out on the lawn there arose such a clatter
I turned around slowly to see what was the matter
There’s the sellers’ brother, father and HIS father too,
Grampa Elroy, who did real estate back in 1922.
Dad built this house with his bare hands for his son
Mom wallpapered and wallpapered and still isn’t done
“The price is too low “ they all said with a shout!
I gathered my comps, I had sales to point out
Look, this one has 4 bedrooms, a fireplace and granite
Your house has 2 bedrooms and the floors they are laminate.
Your kitchen is nice for those that like plastic
Right there is when Grampa became kinda spastic!
“They don’t make houses like these anymore!!!” he exploded!
And then the whole group, one by one just unloaded!
“This house it’s much better than ones in your report,
The location is great, just across from the airport!!”
“Sure, the windows are old but they’re solid and strong
If you prop them up with a stick, they stay open all day long!”
“We didn’t need closets, we used drawers in a dresser!”
My stomach is sick, I can’t stand the pressure.
“The price should be higher, 250 is good,
and New Yorkers will come, they’ll love the neighborhood!
They have the money, and we know THEY will pay!!!
We can always come down later if not, any way.”
So, on sellers, on father, on mother, on brother
Grampa Elroy, and cousins and your friend the plumber
Why don’t you talk and give me a call?
But for now, dash away dash away dash away ALL!
– Lynn Arseneau, Berkshire REALTOR